The Most Bestest Blog Ever

On the Stockholm Syndrome [Part Two]: You Say Party! We Say Die!

2006-05-27T11:04:00.000-04:00

In my attempt to attain the goal of a post every 3.67 seconds; I do post.

My list of music that I don't have but want is growing:

All of these (but Stabilo) are Canadian. Jeff: you might like Beat Chemist.

PAulm

On the Reality of Idealism

2006-05-26T15:29:00.000-04:00

Hi.

The details of the plant will come as they come. We are currently working stuff out. In the mean time I have another sorry (11) and an assignment for you all. That's right. By virtue of you reading this blog you must now do this assignment. It's in the fine print...somewhere...

The reason for this is because I have been thinking as of late. Our fellowship has seemed to (to a large degree) lost he vision of God. We seem to have settled for something less.

So I ask of you: (In whatever situation you are in today, or find yourself tomorrow) Will you work to keep the vision of God alive? And work towards it?

So there you have it. It is a simple question, but with big consequences. You may ask what the vision of God is. Here's the assignment (stolen from Jim):

God's Vision for the Church: A Bible Study

Read each of the following passages of Scripture in context. Note what each says about what God envisions for the church and the part we play in his plan. Set aside some time to meditate on the meaning of all of this for your life and our life together in the church.

What is the prophetic vision of the Old Testament concerning the coming Messiah and his kingdom?
Isaiah 11-12 / Daniel 2:24-45 / Daniel 7:13-14

What was Jesus' vision for his mission in the world and for the kingdom he came to establish?
Mark 1:14-15 / Matthew 13:31-33 / Luke 19:10 / Luke 24:45-49 / Acts 1:8

What part are Jesus' disciples to play in his vision for the kingdom?
Matthew 9:35-38 / Matthew 28: 18-20 / John 4:34-38 / John 17:18; 20:21 / 1 Corinthians 9:19-23 / 2 Corinthians 5:18-21

11. The Sympathetic Sorry

This variation of "I'm sorry" can only be properly performed if you have a good understanding of what the Germans mean by schadenfreude. It is always used with a modifying "so" in the middle. And always at times of great pain and loss. For someone else.

Eye contact: Constantly.
Examples: When a co-worker tells you he's just been fired; when an old flame arrives at your door at two o'clock in the morning crying her eyes out; when a neighbour tells you he has just discovered he is going to be audited.
Correct pronunciation: Rising inflection on the first word, falling inflection on the second word, a flat inflection on the last word.
Sample sentence: "I'm...so...sorry."
Actual meaning: "I'm so happy that this is happening to you and not me. I revel in your downfall!"

PAulm

On our uTOpia

2006-05-19T16:59:00.000-04:00

Hello. I plan on answering all your questions.

And now for something completely different.

Actually not that different. Today is the launch of a new blog. A collaboration of crazy amazing proportions is upon us. Jeff, my sister and my self have joined forces to write in a blog. For what would Jeff, my sister and myself write about? Why Toronto of course.

So mosey on over and see what all the talk (yes, all the talk) is about. You can find us here.

Our first entries are on the topic of Toronto's greatness. Here.

With an easy url! ourutopia.ca

If you didn't get that; it is here.

No, what you were going to do right now is not as important as seeing this.

That's right, this.

Ok, here's the deal: I will pay you $5 (five dollars CAD) to go here.*

PAulm
*Please note that while did say that I would pay; I won't.

On Euphoria Firefly Rabbit in the Moon's Divine Gothic Disco Mix

2006-05-10T15:38:00.000-04:00

Hey. Long time no post. Rectify that now do I.

So there is development in the town that is Paul. Remember all that stuff about: school/no school/what school/work/what work/plant/other work/give up on life and go live in a hole somewhere?

Well I've decided not to do that later. Instead there is an exicting new operation unfolding here in Ontario. Something that has not happened in about 50 years is about to become reality. Something that I am really really passionate about. Do you know what it is?

A church plant! A group of folks and myself are going to plant! (warning: from here on in, at the end of most sentences I am going to be using "!". This to signify my extreem exict-id-ness (and while I generally stay away from using the aforementioned "!", this post is an exception))

Details!

Official start date: Jan 1st, 2007
Est. date of first service: June 2007
Unofficial start date: Now (trying to get stuff ready, people, funds, resources, moving, etc, etc, etc)
Where: Cambridge, Ont. (very beautiful city, I will post some pics soon)

For those perhaps remembering; I have not lost any of my passion to plant in Toronto. That is why my montra currently is: 2007 Cambridge, 2010 Toronto The plan is to plant in Cambridge and then at (or around 2010) plant in Toronto using the success of Cambridge (and/or learning from the mistakes).

So this is how Paul's life seems to look in the near future:

Summer 2006 continue work with Fenwick C of C
August 2006 go on fund raising trip through Canada and southern US
September 2006 move to Cambridge and get social work-type job
by Jan 1st 2007 hopefully have enough funds to go full time with the plant/all of the plant members move to Cambridge (some will have already)
prepare big time
launch first public worship service in June 2007 (with bang)

Is that not cool?!

I will not be abandoning school. I will go part-time with HUGSR. This means that it will take a while for me to get a degree; but it is worth it.

So what do you think? Again I say: Is this not cool!!! (whoa...multiple ones...I should stop before getting carried away)

PAulm
p.s. Lissa you want to know what Jeff, Cynthia and myself have in common? It's coming...

On 1701

2006-04-25T14:51:00.000-04:00

Randome things:

On Movies:

This movie is great. Also important for our current situation. (Also Capt. Kirk is in it)
This movie is also great. History has a habit of repeating.

I found this list in a book:

Dec. 31, 1775
The American invasion of Canada fails because the French settlers neglect to back the Americans, opting instead to mock them and insult their wine.
Oct. 13, 1812
The Americans are foiled yet again in their invasion attempt, as the War of 1812 leaves Canada in the hands of the British. Adding insult to injury, Canada burns down the White House and conquers Detroit (Being good sports, they give it back.)
May 9, 1871
After two unsuccessful attempt at invasion, the U.S. simply asks Britain to give them Canada. Britain declines, but hey, the Americans still end up with the Treaty of Washington, granting them fishing rights in Canadian waters.

At least three uses of "eh":

This is just my opinion, but don't you agree with it?
Non-Canadian Statement: "The weather sure has turned chilly, don't you think?"
Canadian Statement: "Cold, eh?"
This is a fact to which anyone would acquiesce, so I'm being rhetorical here.
Non-Canadian Statement: "I can't believe you bought that girl a drink and she didn't even give you her number."
Canadian Statement: "That's cold, eh?"
You know what I just said? I actually believe the exact opposite.
Non-Canadian Statement: "Yes Bob, I agree it's very hot in Penticton today. I'm positively burning up."
Canadian Statement: "Right, cold, eh?"

Canadian paragraph:
Ah jeez, I don't know about (a-boot) Pierre, he's been on pogey (poe-gee), won't get a joe job, and has no jing to go to the peelers. I mean, I've been feeding the hoser CCs at the pub so he won't put cheese in his coffee, but I think he's been spending a lot of time outdoors (oot-doors) without (with-oot) a toque (tewk). Either that, eh (ay), or his gonch is too tight.

American translation:
Goodness gracious, I'm worried about Peter, he's been on unemployment, won't get an entry-level position, and doesn't have money to go to the strip clubs. You see, I've been buying that goof Canadian Club whisky so he won't go completely crazy, but I'm afraid he's lost the capacity to think. Perhaps the circulation to his brain has been cut off somehow.

Granted this reflects Strange Brew more than Canada, but funny.

PAulm

On Anchorage

2006-04-21T21:17:00.000-04:00

Considering the comments:

First, Julie's question a long time ago: It is a myth that the corner of Portage and Main in Winnipeg is the coldest intersection in Canada. It is not true (but still referred to in jest). For more information see this.
The reason that the Gospel Herald is unappealing to those under 70 is two fold: (1) the subject matter; (2) the structure. In short it reflects the Canadian and Church of Christ culture of the 50's and not the current culture. I am one of the very few that get it voluntarily of my generation (or the one before...) and I do agree with most of what it has to stay (most is used *ahem* loosely here).
In this congregation it is sent to Christian and non-Christian alike. All the addresses on the list. Those who regularly attend and those whom haven't in decades.
It is kinda like door knocking. My main criticism of door knocking (esp. in Canada) is that it (1) is a waste of time and resources; (2) offends people; (3) gives a false sense of evangelism. It is my opinion that this also does 1 and 2 but not really 3. I don't think this is thought of in an evangelistic way. So replace 3 with "illegal."
I was embellishing with atrocious descriptive words (that was the only one, I think).
I agree that their motivation was a good one. But that does not excuse the execution of this. Remember the vast majority of the congregation doesn't know that they are getting this. When it shows up in their mail they don't know the motivation. All they know is that it is unsolicited mail. Normally gifts are given (at some point) person to person. If it was done person to person (so the recipient could consent or not) then it would be all great.

10. The Unrepentant Sorry

This extremely sophisticated variation of "I'm sorry" is used to fend off any justified criticism you might encounter. Formal usage works best, although politicians are starting to experiment with the diminutive version with great success.

Eye contact: If necessary, but not necessarily eye contact.
Examples: When you say something stupid, and then you pretend you never said it, but the a reporter had their tape recorder running and now you're busted, and everyone is asking you to clarify your statements; when you have to go on television and explain why you used taxpayers' money to cover your legal fees; when you park too close to another car and open your door so hard that you put a dent in the other car and the owner of that car happens to be standing right there and says, "Do you know that you just put a dent in my car?"
Correct pronunciation: Downward inflection, slight breath between the "I'm" and the "sorry," can be supported by slight shrug of shoulders.
Sample sentence: "I'm, um, sorry..."
Actual meaning: "I'm not sorry for what I did, I'm just sorry I got caught."

PAulm

On The Reasonable Patio

2006-04-20T14:16:00.000-04:00

Second Rant: A congregation that will go nameless has done this atrocity.

There is Church of Christ publication called Gospel Herald. While this publication perhaps was useful in times past it has a very limited use currently (esp. amongst those under 70). The usefulness of the publication is not, however, at issue here.

Someone had the bright idea to give this congregation's entire membership list to the Gospel Herald (without the consent or knowledge of the members) and then pay for the monthly publication to each member's home.

I have three issues with this:

Given the limited usefulness of the publication what does this accomplish?
There is an ethical issue here. One of the basic principles of Christianity is that it is never forced on a person. So to for someone to decide that another needs this without the recipient's consent or knowledge is quite unchristian.
There is a legal issue. Protection of Personal Information in the Private Sector (PIPEDA for short) is the Act that applies here. (There is currently no Act in Ontario concerning privacy in the private sector, however, as of Jan 1st 2004 PIPEDA applies to all provinces if no Act exists. This is important because in Canada jurisdiction actually matters. No interstate commerce for us.) Without getting into the details of PIPEDA (notice 4.2 to 4.5, all of these apply to this situation); it is illegal for an organization to give personal information away without consent.

In conclusion of the situation: This is illegal, unchristian and doubtful it will have a positive effect.

There was a meeting to consider this. I was the only one having difficulties with this. When I objected I received this (paraphrased) response: "You're nit-picking. Besides, who can keep up with the laws now-a-days?" These are the same people who would agree that to drive above the speed limit is a sin. Nice selectiveness.

9. The Mythical Sorry

This "I'm sorry" is used to support a personal recollection or anecdote. Any variation or usage could potenially work, although the simplest, most straightforward version will also be the most effective. Can be used when talking to a group of people or an individual friend or acquaintance.

Eye contact: Penetrating.
Examples: When you are describing a recent bout of bad service; when you are talking about a fight you just had with your boss; when you are telling someone about a recent minor traffic accident.
Correct pronunciation: Rising inflection, huge emphasis on the first syllable of "Sorry." You can also snap your fingers dismissively for further dramatic effect.
Sample sentence: "So I looked him in the eye and I said to him, 'Look, I'm sorry, but this is unacceptable.'"
Actual meaning: "I didn't say anything. I'm a fraud. I backed down. I chickened out, and my greatest fear is that you will figure out what a coward I am. Please oh please, just put me out of my misery Sob."

PAulm

On Power Storage Outages of Lyons

2006-04-19T17:00:00.000-04:00

Hello. This is not an official post. Hence I am not including a sorry. Sorry. I will include one with my next post later today when I have more time. Some items of interest:

Space Empires IV is addictive; esp. with the Star Trek Mod. I dislike the Borg.
This is hilarious. Not only is Winnipeg home of the mosquito and the coldest intersection in Canada; apparently it is also the centre of Phantompalooza.
I want one of these

That is all.

PAulm

On The Order of Man, The Moon, and Canada

2006-04-09T14:04:00.000-04:00

In regards to comments:

Sis you are right; GLCC is a college both because of the British system and the use of dorms. Also not many know this but there has always been a college/university/higher-than-high-school element to GLCC. Now days it is called GLBC. And if I recall correctly this part of GLCC began before the high school did.

The teaching of the class was notsomuch planned. I wasn't actually working there and was only there for short periods of time; so no harm done. Yes, sis, it was the dorm that killed me. I don't think teaching would be the same. My profs at Harding said that one day I will be a professor; that my skill set was very apt for that position. Perhaps someday, not today. Yes, my experience at GLCC with Bible was less than great too. I will refrain from ranting on that subject today.

Moving onto other rants:

I offer this pretext to my comments: (1) The congregation I will speak of could be any in the Southern Ontario area since I have been out visiting every Sunday; and (2) the names have been changed to protect the *ahem* innocent (one is innocent, the others are NOT (caps purposeful)).

For those who may not be familiar with Chruch of Christ tradition let me explain in some detail. This is concerning the Lord's Supper. Generally there is a song (we all know that songs must go between everything) then someone gets up and talks a bit about Christ's death/ressurection or something. Then there is a prayer for the bread, break bread, then eat the bread, then pray for the grape juice (oh...excuse me: wine), then drink wine.

The reason for this rather specific structure is the example in the Gospel and Ap. Paul's accounts. While in general I am not hot on example anyways (making commands on a whim, yea!); I do appreiate the legitimate use of them.

In the case of the Lord's Supper we have an odd use of example. On one hand we follow the example of the order perfectly; but on the other we freely substatue grape juice for wine / crackers for bread / meal for worship / or just ignore some examples altogether (Luke 22:17-18). As you may have guessed I am of the opinion that the example of order is not authoritative in the Lord's Supper. This comes from three facts: (1) There is no command about this; (2) there is no hint that the exact order was authoritative; and (3) even if it was, we don't follow it exactly anyway. Not to mention that the order of the Lord's Supper is no where near the point of the passages.

So here's what happened. All went according to the norm, when Mr. Joe Canuck picked up the cup first. This was a honest mistake. Mr. Canuck was not trying to balk at the system or anything. Three different people in the congregation tried to stop him in his tracks and correct the mistake. But Mr. Canuck was nervous and continued foward...until the person leading the prayer stressed in his prayer that this was a prayer for the bread. The end result? One man who has been embearessed in front of the entire congregation. And why? Because of some arbitary rule about order. To me this screams, "Unchristian!"

Sorry about the rant. But I haven't ranted in a while so I have to get my quota up. My next entry will be another rant. Another unchristian (and illegal) thing that a congregation did last week.

8. The Ostentatious Sorry

This "I'm sorry" can be used in a wide range of situations and conversations. For maximum effect, you should employ the shorter "Sorry" version. Used chiefly as a reactive tool in establishing status.

Eye contact: Condescendingly.
Examples: When someone asks if you're planning to sign up for the bonspiel; when someone tries to tell you about a fascinating television program they watched the night before; when someone uses a word you don't understand.
Correct pronunciation: Slight rising inflection. Quizzical tonality.
Sample sentence: "...sorry?"
Actual meaning: "I'm pretending that I didn't hear and/or didn't understand your last statement, but we both know that what you just said proves how stupid and uncultured you are. You are truly beneath contempt. Now, breathe in the glory that is me. Bow down before me. I am your superior in this and all things that truly matter."

PAulm

On The Ms. Alma Mater

2006-04-06T22:18:00.000-04:00

The link on the side should goto your site, Lissa. Sometimes Blogger takes some time updating. It can be weird at times. If something is not showing up, just give it some time or try again.

This week I have been at GLCC helping to teach a class on "The Meaning of Life." In one week. Ambitious. So that has been fun. One more class to go.

By the way: What do Cynthia, Jeff and Paul all have in common? Just wait and you'll find out.

7. The Libidinous Sorry

This "I'm sorry" usually follows in direct chronological order from the last sorry. Formal usage only, and don't try to get fancy with this. Used with partner or loved one in private quarters.

Eye contact: Constant.
Examples: When riding home in a taxi with loved one or partner after a fight at a party; walking home with loved one or partner after a disagreement over movie choice at the video store.
Correct pronunciation: Equal emphasis on both words, slight rising inflection on "sorry."
Sample sentence: "I'm sorry. I was wrong. Please forgive me."
Actual meaning: "You're wrong. I'm right, but I'm tired of fighting and I hope this shift in tactics will lead to some foolin' around."

PAulm

On Ender's Elucidation

2006-03-31T22:09:00.000-05:00

Cynthia: You are correct. Claude's roar is not much of a roar. Remember my nickname for him?

Those being confused/misinformed: No no. You don't understand. Let me try again:

Canada is the kid in grade eight and the U.S. is the kid in grade ten. Canada really really likes the U.S. But after school the U.S. pretends that Canada doesn't exist. So Canada resorts to pulling hair and passing notes. Canada sits in the corner of the playground and watches the U.S. leave with Britain, Mexico or somebody else. So we pout and get mad. We don't understand why we are always left out. I mean, Canada looks way better, as far as countries go, than Mexico for example. So we make lists of why we hate the U.S.; we give them the cold shoulder in the next class (as if they care or notice). But deep down we wish it was us with the them.

You see, the vast majority of Canadians live close to the U.S. border. Radio, tv and all the other American media spill over into Canada. And we absorb it all. We all know it isn't our own. It's obvious that it isn't Canadian. We don't become Americanized by it; our culture isn't dictated by it. Rather we sit, transfixed but it all. The U.S. flaunts its bling bling in front of us, its shiny sparkling bling bling. So we sit. We can't take our eyes off of it. The glory and madness of it all both shocks us and entices us. Canadians know that they don't really want the bling bling, but we do want to be with it. Like dating the bad boy. It's attractive.

Canadians have a crush on the Americans. We always have, and probably always will.

And the Americans ignore us.

6. The Demonstrative Sorry

This "I'm sorry" works best when used with a partner or loved one. Form usage is generally appropriate, and this time you can add the word "very" as many times as you want. Used when you've either done something you weren't supposed to do, or not done something you were supposed to do.

Eye contact: Beseechingly.
Examples: When you've arrived somewhere too early; when you've arrived somewhere too late; when you have forgotten a significant date.
Correct pronunciation: Rising inflection building to near-hysteria. If possible, string the words together into one continuous verbal outpouring of emotion.
Sample sentence: "I'm veryveryveryvery sorry. Really. You have no idea how sorry I am."
Actual meaning: "Why are so angry? Was it something I said? (Males only: He knew he was a dead man, but he must now race against time to find out why.) "Was it something I should have said? (Females only: "What is it that I'm supposed to have done this time? I am really getting tired of your moods.")

PAul

On The Deep Distant Drawn Out Roar of The Claude

2006-03-29T22:49:00.000-05:00

It's true Lissa. Canadians aren't as nice as you think. While I wouldn't say that all Canadians have murderous feelings amongst each other; behind the politeness we aren't always being nice. But why does this perception of niceness continue? Will Ferguson explains:

It was a slow process. We rejected revolution, we tamed our frontiers by sending in law and order first (the Canadian Mild West, as it is known), and we founded our nation not on political ideals or on ethnicity but on very practical, pragmatic reasons: peace, order and good government. And yet, as history has repeatedly shown, we were not always such a swell bunch. I repeat: the only reason our history seems so sweet and gentle is because we compare ourselves--incessantly--to Americans. Jeez, who doesn't appear kind and gentle when compared to them?

In Canadian Forum, columnist Morris Wolfe writes, "Canadians, it seems, have the shortest memories of any people on earth when it comes to remembering the awful things we've done to each other."

It's true. A survey of Canadian history from the fun-loving days of the slave trade (usually unacknowledged) to the annihilation of the Beothuk Indians (shame about that) to apartheid (our reserves and residential schools), internment camps (the tale of Japanese-Canadians), eugenics (Canada's not-so-distant racist past), as well as our contribution to the Holocaust of World War II (none is too many), our run-amok Mounties and the suspension of human rights during the October Crisis, indicates a less than holistic approach to nation-making.

Notice: we compare ourselves--incessantly--to Americans This is why Canadians are nice. Because we're nicer than Americans. Historically we are nicer than Americans; Our foreign policies are nicer than Americans; Our politics are nicer than Americans; Our citizens are more polite than Americans.

We think, anyway.

Is it true? Well...maybe...in some cases. But overall...not really. We're just more polite about it. Canadians, however, have thrown logic and reasoning to the wind and blindly surged forward; making this our defining point. We believe it so strongly that it kinda-pseudo exists (at least in our minds). And for some reason the rest of the world has bought it.

Does this make sense? Not really. But then there is a theme of not-making-sense in Canada. Progressive Conservatives; Responsible Government; National Animal=Beaver; etc etc etc.

Why do we incessantly compare ourselves to Americans? This is another not-making-sense item in Canada. Again Will Ferguson:

Our feelings towards America are complex, but they can be summed up in the following five (5) axiomatic propositions of Canadian Nationalism vis-a-vis the Americans:

Boy, we hate Americans.
We really do.
Really.
I'm not kidding. We really hate them.
So how come they never pay us any attention?

It is a classic love/hate obsession, and it defines us in ways we can never transcend. We measure ourselves against Americans. We crave their attention and their approval, we revel in their ignorance of us, and we take masochistic glee in slights, perceived or real. It is a form of neurosis, one step away from a compulsive high school crush. We pout, flirt, throw pencils, pass notes and talk maliciously about the object of our fears and desires. And they ignore us.

5. The Aristocratic Sorry

This "I'm sorry" is used mainly in social situations when you are the customer or client. Formal usage is encouraged and, for greater effect, you can insert the word "very" in between the "I'm" and the "sorry." Used mainly when you require some sort of service.

Eye contact: Compulsory.
Examples: When you want a simple contract concession from your supplier; when you just need a little bit of help finding the right outfit; then you would like another cup of coffee.
Correct pronunciation: Flat inflection. Equal emphasis on both words. Slight pause between words, if you are adding the linguistic flourish of the "very," a slight pause before it, and a slightly longer pause after it.
Sample sentence: "I'm...very...sorry, but this isn't the entree I ordered."
Actual meaning: "Don't you know who I am? I've had people killed for less!"

PAulm

On Liquidating The Tux

2006-03-28T22:25:00.000-05:00

Quote that I heard today: "You don't want to go to such-and-such University, they get their students to think."

The quickly tried to cover for the comment; it was nonetheless great.

Jeff's mom: Nice usage! That was great.

Julie: I meant maul and mull (double meaning intended). Without the messy killing part and such.

Do all of you (my faithful, wonderful, gracious readers) understand the reference in my post to Rene Levesque and the Parti Quebecois? The Parti Quebecois is the national, federal Quebec separatist party (being anti-national, anti-federal in policy). Any normal country wouldn't allow such a party to rise to the power that the Parti Quebecois did in Canada (in some manner or another). Any sensible country would've had a civil war or assassinated the leadership (Rene Levesque). What did Canada do? The Parti Quebecois became the Official Royal Loyal Opposition. That's the background.

4. The Subservient Sorry

This "I'm sorry" is also exclusive to your place of work. Again, only the formal is allowed. This time, however, it is used when dealing with a client or customer.

Eye contact: Evasive.
Examples: When a client asks you for contract concessions; when a customer asks you for help finding the right size; when a patron asks for more coffee.
Correct pronunciation: A rising inflection with a slight questioning tone at the end.
Sample sentence: "I'm sorry? Is there something wrong with the veal?"
Actual meaning: "I would like to stab you through the eye with this olive fork."

PAulm

On The Friendly Giant

2006-03-27T23:41:00.000-05:00

If you wish to understand Canadians then you must read two books:

Will Ferguson and Ian Ferguson's How To Be A Canadian
Will Ferguson's Why I Hate Canadians

In that order. The first is more humourous, whilst the second is still humourous, it is much more thoughtful. And shocking to our national pysche.

For example: What's the most basic thing that identifies Canadians? Our niceness. Will Ferguson explains (pg 89 Why I Hate Canadians): October 1995. A woman is found wandering beside a highway north of Los Angeles. She doesn't remember who she is or where she came from. The U.S. police have only a single clue: the women is polite, very polite. So polite, in fact, that they figure she must be a Canadian. They send a bulletin to news agencies and police desks across Canada, and sure enough, the woman is a Canadian. Her identity is established as Ms. Susan Simpson, who mysteriously disappeared from her Edmonton home several weeks earlier. Case closed.
The two important things to note are (A) even in a state of total amnesia, she still retained her basic Canadian niceness, and (B) this alone was enough to distinguish her from an American. Frightening, isn't it? If it ever comes to war, all that will stand between us and death is the use of a well-placed "thank you." You can whack a Canadian on the head, you can scramble his brain and erase his memory, but he-or she-will still be nice.

When did we become nice?

Will Ferguson (pg 90): After years of exhaustive research, often late into the night, I have pinpointed The Exact Moment Canadians Became Nice. It occurred at 8:05a.m., November 16, 1976. This was the morning after the day the Parti Quebecois was first elected, when Rene Levesque was not assassinated. When Rene Levesque woke up and was still alive, at that moment Canada become irretrievably "nice." After that, there was no turning back. True, we had been nice before that, and there have been pockets of nastiness since (Somalia being a prime example), but on November 16, 1976, we passed the point of no return.

Are Canadians actually, really actually, nice? Since this post is getting entirely too long; let us maul over this for a bit.

3. The Occupational Sorry

This version of "I'm sorry" is to be deployed exclusively within your working environs. Formal usage only. Used primarily when a co-worker desires your undivided attention.

Eye contact: Fleeting.
Examples: When the phone in your office rings in the middle of an informal meeting; when a co-worker asks you a question five minutes before quitting time; when the same co-worker asks if you'd like to look at pictures from their vacation in Mexico.
Correct pronunciation: Falling inflection, slight emphasis on the "I'm." (A faint tone of regret is also recommended.)
Sample sentence: "I'm sorry, I really have to take this call."
Actual meaning: "I would really rather talk to an aluminum siding salesman than spend another moment listening to you."

PAulm
Edit: See (or hear) episode 17 of Bruce Murray's The ZedCast for two small skits of Canadians being nice from birth. It is quite hilarious. (I've been catching up on all the podcasts since being in Searcy)

On The Conscience Bluntness

2006-03-26T14:01:00.000-05:00

Yes sister, you are right. Of the twelve ways only one is actually apologetic. This next sorry is classically Canadian.

2. The Essential Sorry

The most common variation of "I'm sorry," and the one you will most often use. Can also be shortened to the simpler "Sorry," but formal usage is preferred. Used primarily when someone makes unwanted physical contact with you in a public place.

Eye contact: Optional
Examples: When someone steps on your foot as you get off an escalator; when someone elbows you on a bus or streetcar; when someone backs into you in a bank lineup.
Correct pronunciation: Must be spoken firmly, with a very slight rising inflection on the first word. If using the shorter version, make sure the "s" in "Sorry" has a slight trace of sibilance.
Sample sentence: "I'm sorry. Isn't this crowd something?"
Actual meaning: "How could you not see me? Are you blind? Or just a jerk?"

PAulm

On Precocious Presuppositions

2006-03-25T21:08:00.000-05:00

Since as of late I have posted so often; I am proceeding to post.

Currently there is a black cat on the back porch. This does not please my parent's cats. They wish to defend the house at all costs.

On other notes I have discovered that Canadians have 12 (twelve) distinct ways of saying sorry. I've decided in lieu of any actual things to say to include a description of a sorry in each of my posts until I run out. If you master all of these: Welcome fellow Canadian! (This list originated in Will Ferguson and Ian Ferguson's How To Be A Canadian)

1. The Simple Sorry

The most basic use of "I'm sorry." Can also be shortened to the simpler "Sorry," or amended to the slightly more loquacious "Sorry about that." Used primarily after making unwanted physical contact with another person in a public place.

Eye contact: Not required.
Examples: When bumping into someone as you exit a revolving door; when stepping on someone's foot as you take your seat in a theatre; when backing up into someone in an elevator.
Correct pronunciation: Must be delivered quickly and without inflection. If using either of the longer versions, you must run the words together (i.e., "I'msorry," or "Sorrybouthat").
Sample sentence: "Sorry, I didn't see you."
Actual meaning: "I'm in a hurry and you're in my way."

PAulm

On Assignment

2006-03-16T10:58:00.001-05:00

Arug

PAulm

Edit: This is in reference to things not working out for me going to Montana. And now not knowing what I am doing. And wasting three months. Arug.

On the Science of Theatre of Mystery

2006-03-10T15:01:00.000-05:00

Hello. I am here in Toronto and looking forward to seeing much Mystery Science Theatre 3000. In fact here is a sampling of the titles (these are actual titles of movies...bad movies, but movies none-the-less):

The Crawling Eye
The Robot vs the Aztec Mummy
The Mad Monster
Women of the Prehistoric Planet
The Corpse Vanishes
The Crawling Hand
The Slime People
Robot Holocaust
Moon Zero Two
Untamed Youth
The Projected Man
The Phantom Planet
Robot Monster
The Deadly Bees
The Space Children
Devil Fish
The Screaming Skull
SST Death Flight
Zombie Nightmare
The Thing That Couldn't Die
Angels Revenge
Blood Waters of Dr. Z
Colossus vs The Headhunters
Night of the Blood Beast

Which one do you think we should start with?

PAulm

On Orange Cornered HearDogs

2006-03-09T00:55:00.000-05:00

Apparently it was too wide. I used my laptop and it looked fine, but my laptop is all wide-screen-like. So when I looked on a normal dimensioned monitor, it was much too wide. The consequence thereof is that I tightened it up a bit. So there, does that look all good-like?

I guess maybe I should tell you all about me being a criminal. I know I am just comfirming your worst fears and best hopes. Here is the story:

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away it was Saturday in Montana. As was the custom for that week I was off to have a meal with peoples. Saturday noon I was to have lunch with some of the college and carreers peoples at someone's home. Since I was vehicleless Lindsey (formely of Harding) picked me up and off we went to this person's home.

Or so we thought.

We pulled up into the drive got out of the car and went to the door. Lindsey knocked on the door...and waited...knocked again...and waited...with no answer. We hummed about it and then she tried the door. It was unlocked. So in we slipped.

Then we stoped.

The place was a mess. And a huge white dog attacked us...and then peed on the floor infront of us.

So we are in this trashed place. With no one home and this dog jumping all over the place and peeing.

At this point we are confused. Lindsey calls some peoples to see where we were supposed to be. And low and behold we are one street over. We were in fact in some stranger's house.

We have a nice chuckle over this and then I muse how funny it would be if the owner came home whilst we were here. At this point Lindsey decides that we should leave, and quickly. We vacated the place and continued with a nice lunch. One street over.

So it was a B and E. With less of the B and more of the E. Next I'm thinking of hitting up a bank, what do ya think?

PAulm

On Spanish Armadas

2006-03-08T14:47:00.000-05:00

It's all wwwwwwwiiiiiiiiiiiiiddddddddeeeeeeee now.

Thanks to Jeff for technical support. My computer has this neat coffee cup holder that also plays cds! How cool is that. (Reference: I worked in computer support...oh the stories...)

How do yous all like it? Do all the lines and text line up? Me have little skill with interweb programing. Also me have little correct grammar.

That is the extent of my posting. Have fun.

PAulm

On Clauge Develops

2006-03-07T17:56:00.000-05:00

Hello.

You can't prove that I committed anything.

Three items of interest:

How to Survive a Robot Uprising is a really cool book.
Toronto is getting city-wide wifi (by city-wide I mean bounded by Front to Queen and Spadina to Church). How cool is that. If the rates are reasonable then it would be so cool. Even if they are a little high the other high speed interweb peoples (such as cable and dsl) will be forced to compete. Which means better service and cheaper interweb. So coolness all around.
There was a possible leak in the upcoming provincal budget. Possibly very bad for the provincal government (you're really not allowed to leak budgets, in this case people could get insider information). If that leak is true then very very good for Toronto. The leak says that the budget will include money for a subway extension to (and through) York University. This would mean that the University Line would be used to capacity (currently it is under used) and link the York Region with Toronto.

So three cool things.

PAulm

On The Weekness of Nees

2006-02-28T19:45:00.000-05:00

Much updating I must do:

First. Sunday the 19th was not the best day in Paul's life. My back decided to try and kill me. It mostly succeeded. Thus Sunday and Monday were spent in much pain.

So on Tuesday (Second.) I flew out to Montana in a state of pain and druggedness. Montana was good.

Third. Thursday back pain went away. And was replaced by the flu.

Fourth. On Saturday committed my first felony.

Fifth. Preached on Sunday (both morning services) in several octaves lower than usual.

Sixth. Flew back to Niagara on Monday to discover I can't hear out of my left ear. Apparently my ear is still pressurized at 39thousand feet.

Summary: I think the interviewing went well. I won't know anything for about 2 and a half weeks. In the mean time...Paul needs to become healthy.

PAulm

On the Moving Straightedge

2006-02-16T08:19:00.000-05:00

Hello. I am in Toronto today. It was quite pleasant yesturday. Currently (because I am in my sister and bro-in-law-in-law's apartment) I am catching up on all the podcasts that I have missed since being in Searcy. Which is a lot. Which means much downloading. But with high speed interweb...it no problem.

Yesturday we three (kings) first went to Best Buy where I finally (hopefully) ended my laptop woes. Then we hunted down the Burger Shack. Cynthia didn't think that it existed. But we triumphed (and ate good food). Then some settling and liberating of buildings (Rainbow Six).

So yeah. Nothing horridly exciting. Also on Tuesday I fly to Montana.

PAulm

On Valetorious

2006-02-14T09:35:00.000-05:00

Happy S.A.D.!
(Singles Awareness Day)

PAulm

On Radio Netherlands, Sweden, Australia, Polonia, Australia, Prague, Channel Africa, BBC World Service, Deutsche Welle and Voice of Russia

2006-02-08T03:14:00.000-05:00

Mmmmmmm....the CBC Overnight Service. Also, I'm pretty sure that my title is entirely too long. But I like it. So there.

Things going on:

Trying to buy things. With little success. Arg.
Downloading Firefox for my parents computer (Yea). On dialup (Nea).
Preparing for a week long interview.
Not sleeping at 3:30am. Because I want to not. Er. Not want to. Er. Don't want to. That proves nothing.

Holy Comments Batman! In way of response to the fire storm of comments (don't get the idea that I am discouraging comments; keep them coming (also, I believe there is a direct corelation between the lack of my posting and the plethora of commenting)):

About the mindsets: The mindsets I am speaking of are not American per se. Currently, however, there is a serge of this in the US. Mainly it has to do with foreign policy, how people think about the country and distrust of the population.
About Canada being better: Yes. Canada is paved with gold.
About Texas: Yes, there are most likely a mix of pleasent and not-so-pleasent people in any place. During my visits there I have not seen a huge number of not-so-pleasent people. (And we all know why Jeff hates Texas. It has little to do with the state as a whole. Tisk, Tisk.)
About the martians: They are all evil. I know.
About opening daycare spaces: It's true. And we'll need the space.
About the liberal leader: Rather than a lack of options, I think that the liberal party is moving to a new generation, which will mean a lot of options (just not ones we all know). For more information.
About Cynthia's Reading week: I'am there! Just tell me the days I can't come. Actually...I might have some plans during some of it (does Chris have it off with you or not?)

There. All responded like.

PAulm

On the Horrid Horrid Westerly Wind

2006-01-26T20:29:00.000-05:00

Yes. The end of the world is upon us. The evil green monster that is Steven Harper has been elected as our Prime Minister. Now he will proceed to devour our small children and animals.

The truth is while the Prime Minister elect and his party may indeed be socially scary to the majority of Canadians; he cannot do much. He has a weak minority government with no clear supporters from the other parties. So any big social changes in our beloved country is unlikely. I have other concerns however. After living in the U.S. for a bit I have witnessed certain mindsets that concern me. Steven Harper's mindset is disconcerting.

PAulm

On the Free Styling Acid House

2006-01-17T13:23:00.000-05:00

Hey.

Apparently everybody has lost the will and/or desire to post. Come on people, we need to post more, for mankind's sake.

Think of the children!

Anyways. I am not at Harding anymore because I have graduated. Me so edgumicated. Also, I switched from Xanga because this is better. Let me say again: better. Recently I have decided that Word Press is more better than Blogger. Also, I am flying to Montana at the end of Feb for a week long interview (have I already said that? I don't know).

CBC Radio One beacons me.

PAulm

On Imaging

2006-01-08T02:20:00.000-05:00

Hey.

I have a question for all of you. I intend to start a new blog. Don't worry (since you were all worrying); this one is staying (for all the important things I have to say). I need to decide what blogging service to use. So help me, dear reader, would you?

Here is what I am looking for:

Professional look
Relatively easy url
Way of grouping posts
Ability to use and store pics (or access to it in some relatively easy way)
Easy readability for larger portions of text

Control over everything

What is out there?

PAulm

On the Old and New Zed

2006-01-02T23:51:00.000-05:00

Hey.

I might be working and doing school in Great Falls, Montanna. Which would be cool. And also enable me to do grad school. Which would be cool. I believe that Great Falls as the one Church of Christ congregation, if that helps.

Apparently in some instruction manual somewhere about blogging it says that bloggers are supposed to do the Year in Review first line thingy. I missed that memo. However, in the interests in not being left out, here doth I please:

In the beginning of the year I was using xanga, then I switched to something better; also I began blogging in Febuary, so no January.

Febuary
Hello electronic world.

March
What is this whole school business about? Certainly not all this huge amount of work. Learning! Sheeesshhh!

April
Horribly Addicted
to wiping out entire civilizations

May
Two Weeks Until Bliss
pending getting all ze work done

June
What does coffee and peach juice make? I don't know, I was asking you, although it sounds tempting...

July
Last week sometime a certain Seaslug asked a question on his frequently updated writing centre on the interweb.

August
Yo Yo. So I was reading the Wikipedia entry for Settlers of Catan and came upon the Settlers of Catan, Strategic considerations sections.

September
Ok. So my last couple of posts have gotten me on a bit of a mental frenzy.

October
Step One:Say "Open the air"

November
Aye. So...someone says I don't update often enough.

December
I have just returned from Texas. Much fun. Got to goto to Ikea. Only the best store in the multiverse.

There be my year in review. Let us all bask in the reviewing...ok...enough of the basking. I'm going to bed.

PAulm

On the Wilds of Spiders

2005-12-30T01:26:00.000-05:00

Ahoy.

I post therefore I am.

(I was going to post something all good-like...but then I realized that my plan of good-like is not good-like at 1:30am. Also...I am on dial-up. Which is akin to torture.)

Oh, if you would, pray for Montana. Not the State (well, you could if you want to) but rather me working there.

I am now going to bed. And/or playing some music (Moby:Hotel).

PAulm

On Motion of New Horizons

2005-12-16T23:43:00.000-05:00

Hey. So in two days I head north. My parential-body-units are here, so that is fun. Right now I am waiting for Wes to come home with his mother before I go to bed, since they will likely just wake me up anyways, and this way I can hopefully get them to be quiet so mom/dad can continue sleeping. However...at 11pm, I am going to sleep, and if they wake me...I'll likely do nothing. So yep. Scott Adair (one of my profs) gave a bit of a speech today inwhich he flattered me. I (being INTP) was unconfortable, but I really like Mr. Adair, so it was cool (and funny too). Well...it is nearing 11pm...I am going to starting moving to bed (a whole 1 meter that is...). Good night all. Or morning. Or afternoon. Whichever really. Good [insert time of day directly following now].

PAulm

On Wings of Phased Energy Victories

2005-12-15T17:18:00.000-05:00

Guess what...I have finished my last exam today. I am soooooooo graduating. I'll be edgumicated. I'll know stuff. Me is so smart...s...m...r...t...

Now for the cleaning. Oh the cleaning.

Also there is a nasty storm passing over southern Ontario tonight and tomorrow. Thus my parents flight was canceled. However, they managed to get on another flight...exactly when they are coming in...what flight number...these things I do not know. I think I will be wandering around the Little Rock airport for a while tonight...yea for me.

All bow to Bacholar Paul...really, you can bow...please?

PAulm

On Third Ender

2005-12-14T10:39:00.000-05:00

Three exams done. One to go. Three exam and final marks of A. Hopefully one to go. By the way this whole getting sleep thing is just cool.

Jeff and/or Sarah: Are yous going someplace tonight for worship and such? If so, where? If so, are you some kind of robot?

PAulm

On Me Sleep Paul Now Go Trumpets

2005-12-14T00:22:00.000-05:00

I am going to bed now. Just thought I would share that to all of you (yes all three).

Also I have added two links to my linkage side bar...assuming they work.

Also I have given my ear infection to Sarah. Sorry. If I had known that I was going to give it to you; I wouldn't have gotten it in the first place.

Wait...er....brain...not...functional....or....ontological...maybe soteriological?

Ahhhh! Christology invading my brain again...

PAulm

On Sleepless in Searcy

2005-12-13T11:56:00.000-05:00

Two down. Two to go. Exam done and paper done. At 5am this morning. Exam was at 8am. Sleep did I get under two hours.

I am torn between sleeping (which will be not be very pleasent and perhaps inhibit my being productive the rest of the day) and preparing for tomorrow's exam; which is at 8am.

Arug.

PAulm

On Levels of Green Mir

2005-12-12T15:03:00.000-05:00

Hello. I have finished my first exam. It was decent. I am not, however, concerned about that class. Three more to go. This next one is going to be larger. I have a paper to write for it first, then the exam.

No, I did not buy a printer from Ikea. Although Ikea is the best store ever. Goto IKEA.

In conclusion I am going to play video games for several hours. Or one. Blast school.

PAulm

On The Greatest Printer I Have Ever Seen

2005-12-04T22:18:00.000-05:00

Hey. Hi. Ho. Hyundai. Mmmmm...other words that start with h.

I have just returned from Texas. Much fun. Got to goto to Ikea. Only the best store in the multiverse.

On my way home today I had some extra time. So I took a different route back and spent some time in a State I had not been to before. This brings my list of places (Provinces or States) I've probably been (not including various layovers and the like; must have driven and gone somewhere that is not an airport) to 26:

Canada:

United States:

To some this list might be short; to others it may be long. To me it seems long. These last two years I have added at least eight states to that list. And for someone who really likes maps and traveling; that is cool.

PAulm

On Dream Bunnies

2005-11-27T12:34:00.000-05:00

I am back in Searcy (listening to CBC Radio One, Vinyl Cafe). Must clean apartment. Must do much school work. Must sleep.

I have the 'package' for you. I will be dropping by Texas this weekend or the next one...I don't know which (I will know tonight), I have a weekend class one of these two weekends.

PAulm

On Fret

2005-11-25T08:30:00.000-05:00

I am in Toronto right now. This morning we (Cynthia, Chris and myself) are heading back to Niagara; where we will have a brithday party for my sister and a crokinole party. Then Saturday morning it is off to the south. Speaking of which, I should probably phone Wes or something...I'm not sure that we set a time...or if we did I don't know what it is.

It is beutiful here; there was snow...so everything is white and cool-like. Just don't go out in it without proper gear...it's a tad cool, much wind yesturday.

PAulm

On Northern Lighting Balls

2005-11-20T10:26:00.000-05:00

Hey Hey. I am here at St. Anns. All went well. We (Wes, Amanda, and I) got in around 3am. It was a really good trip; we had fun (also made good time). However, I need to take a shower. I feel like carp (namely that like I drove 19 hours). I have slept 6 hours, so that was nice. I wanted to try and make service this morning. So I compromised and missed classes (they happen before service at Fenwick); I decided that getting 6 hours was a must. Hence I go, for I must be off.

Things are well, sir Jeff? Guess what....no....no....close....still no...ok, fine I'll tell you: It is not all that cold here. No snow right now, and the temp is not bad (at least it feels that way).

PAulm

On Gatic Jumps upon the Wave

2005-11-19T06:21:00.000-05:00

Check: 5:22am.
Destination: Holy Land (Canada). My mark.
Strategy: Not falling asleep.

The jounery of a thousand steps starts in 8 minutes.

Mark.

PAulm

On The Earth That Was

2005-11-14T23:16:00.000-05:00

I'm going home in 4 days...
I'm going home in 4 days...
I'm going home in 4 days...

FYI: I'm going home in 4 days.

In other news: Firefly is cool. Why don't they make more? This series really had potential. Boo on Fox. Boo. Boo. Stupid Fox. You're a Fox. I'll Fox you. Yeah you yeah. (Is my discontent clear?)

PAulm

On Landscapes of the Pan

2005-11-10T14:29:00.000-05:00

This is also cool: The Order of the Stick

PAulm

On Blueish Green Apples - The Sea of Green

2005-11-10T02:04:00.000-05:00

This is quite cool: Blue Ball Machine

Paul must sleep now; so as Paul can get up early and do work.

PAulm

On Heavens of Chaapa'ai

2005-11-05T23:24:00.000-05:00

Aye. So...someone says I don't update often enough. Ok, maybe you're right. But my dad can beat up your dad. What do ya say to that? I thought so.

On several unrelated topics:

-The Hexes and Ohs are amazing. Their new album Goodbye Friend, Welcome Lover is very cool. (They are from Montreal)
-For those who enjoy the completely randome: There is a really neat series online called Joppa. It is the ultimate cool. I would (and am doing so) recommend you check out the first season first. Start with episode one, since they are very connected. Sorta.
-Still with the randomeness: Songs to Wear Pants to. Yes, you read that correctly. It's this guy in the GTA that takes requests for songs and writes them. These requests are sometimes extremely crazy. Here is but a taste: (I was going to explain the request...but you can check it out: It is song #219, you can find it on the site) The Touchtone Genius. There was another request for a song in which he layered his voice 14 times and was about photocopying body parts: We Photocopy Our Body Parts

I have exams galore this week. And Stargate to watch. That is all.

PAulm

On Mergers of Time and Space

2005-10-29T21:08:00.000-04:00

Hey. I have many posts floating around in my head. However, in order to post them, I would have to organize my thoughts. And that takes too much energy. So maybe later.

Jeff's mom: I am waiting on grad schools. I have decided to go to Memphis if it is possible. I won't know that until March (when they will offer me scholarships). Bible majors do not have senior seminars (as far as I know), like Jeff's. Rather we take seminar classes. I am in one right now. It is Christology, and it is amazing. Jeff, you'd like it.

While I am restraining myself from ranting, I will point you all to Jeff's last post. I echo Jeff in every way.

In other good news, I am going to Conway tonight. Going to spend some time with James, this should be cool.

Also, Jeff: The effects of placing several different facilities in a system that overlap in result is accumulative. Just not the same facility twice. (At least that works with the special tech trees, I don't know about normal tech tree facilities)

PAulm

On the Normal Attack of Dark Light

2005-10-26T23:42:00.000-04:00

From Dr. Neller:

You are ordinary and so am I.
I am dull and so are you,
and your wife or girlfriend is dull too.

Nice.
(The context is perhaps important here: Dr. Neller is not insulting us, but commenting on reality. Reality is largely ordinary. Things that say otherwise (such as the media) are lying to us.)

PAulm

On Antifriagism

2005-10-16T15:40:00.000-04:00

The Plight of the Small Fridges! Today you (my faithful readers)get to see into the minds of Paul and Cynthia. We had a little chat earlier; it went something like this:

Cynthia: hello
Paul: hey
Cynthia: what's up?
Paul: let me check...yep, the sky
Cynthia: and down?
Paul: hmmm, the floor
Cynthia: you're on a roll today!
Paul: of carpet?
Cynthia: no a dinner roll
Paul: ah, so not the paper towel roll
Cynthia: unless you eat paper towel rolls for dinner, no
Paul: hmmm, well....
no so much
...er....not
Cynthia: well that's good
Paul: I figure so
Cynthia: i try not to either
i'm cutting back
Paul: I've been off for a year now
Cynthia: wow, you're my role model now
Paul: yeah, I was on the light stuff, but then hit the stronger quilted stuff, and....then...the more potent thrid sheets...the disigns....but I'm clean now, and I never use paper towels to clean myself

(a little later, on the topic of thanksgiving)

Cynthia: speaking of thanksgiving, i'm having leftover turkey... still.
Paul: serious
Cynthia: cdn thanksgiving was like a few weeks ago
Paul: I have nothing of any value in my firge
frige
Cynthia: i like firge better. sounds cool.
let's invent that word, what should it mean?
Paul: hmmm, yes
its a firge, a fringe fridge
Cynthia: i love it! but wait, wouldn't that be a frige?
Paul: hmmm, I think so
Cynthia: we're so strange.... :)
or i... am so strange
Paul: no, we are all normal, everyone else is weird
Cynthia: right
good point
Paul: it's true
Cynthia: so.. how can a fridge be on a fringe?
Paul: it's more conceptual
Cynthia: or am i analyzing too much
okay
Paul: no one, please analyze, we need a systemic frige
ideology
Cynthia: (this is too funny, you almost made me choke on my two week old turkey)
okay... frige ideology.....
let me look up fringe on dictionary.com
Paul: we should write a book: Friage Ideology: Fringe Fridges
Cynthia: Yes. catchy title
oooo, on the fringes of the law
Paul: ...er....I just changed the word again...frige not friage
Cynthia: a deviant fridge
Paul: or...friage the more devloped form of frige, it takes into accound the plight of the oppressed
....er...account
Cynthia: or "something that is marginal, addditional, or secondary to some activity, process, or subject" the oppressed
Paul: ah, yes
Cynthia: "a group with marginal or extremist views"
the extremist fridge
Paul: my fridge is extremist, it's extreemly small
Cynthia: perhaps it only looks small because it is so oppressed
Paul: hmmm, you make a good point
Cynthia: who know there was so much to discuss about fringe fridges
Paul: perhaps we should follow friage and redine reality to that the large fridge is wrong and must be forced into submission; our call will be: "Large Fridges will become Small Fridges or we must kill them"
...er...redefine...
Cynthia: question: how do you kill a fridge? is just unplugging it sufficient or should there be some physical harm done to the fridge?
Paul: depends on your view
true friage would say that they must ease to exist, so they must be completely gone, no remains. Even their remains would be an afront.
Cynthia: but that's extreme friagism
Paul: While a more moderate friage would stop short of forcing the fridges out of existance, but merely their oppression
yes
but they would see the ideal fridge still as small
Cynthia: right. i should use this example next time a prof asks us to define ideology
"well prof so and so i think a good exxample of ideology is friagism"
Paul: hehe
nice
and the response would be antifriagism
(from the large fridges)
Cynthia: that small fridges should be on the fringe because they are smaller and therefore less effective
Paul: yes, and why should the ideal fridge be small?
Cynthia: the dominance of the large fridge is necessary in order to progress society's ideals toward bigger and better means of production
Paul: hmmm, yes
functional antifriagism
Cynthia: sorry i had to take a moment to heartily laugh
okay i'm back
functional antifriagism? define the functional portion
Paul: fuctional antifriagism is based on it's reality, that production is increased by larger fridges
Cynthia: because I think what I said is very dangerous, possibly leading to anti-small fridgism which could lead to a fridge holocaust if not careful
Paul: eminent antifriagism is based on the larger fridges essense, and that it is no worse than small fridges
Cynthia: it's only a matter of time that the large fridges begin to see themselves as the only type of fridge worth living, so eminent antifriagism will control this?
Paul: yes, functional anitfriagism does call for the perfect fridge society, which does not include small fridges
Cynthia: okay, i get it now
Paul: however, since the great toaster-oven war (in which they wiped their species out) the fridges are hesitating to break out in conflict, in fear that they too, might wipe each other out
Cynthia: so they have their own form of social control within themselves, fear
let's take a moment to mourn the toaster-ovens
oh toasty, at least died for a cause you believed in
Paul: yes, but if the eminent antifriagists lose ground, and the functional antifriagists lose their fear...then the second great applicance war would insue
so true
Cynthia: okay, had another laughing fit
Paul: I think the stoves would side with the large fridges, they've allways been distrusting of the small appliances
Cynthia: and once the AW2 (appliance war two) breaks out what's to stop all the other appliances from warring?
Paul: the small appliances would fight with the small fridges, but the diswashers? I don't know, they have not made their thinking known on the kitchen stage
Cynthia: well their still a fairly new group, they are still defining themselves and their values
is size important for dishwashers?
they don't know yet
Paul: we can only hope that the electonics in the living room stay out of this one...if the tvs or computers got involved...
the dishwashers are not sure if they are small or large
Cynthia: i could see tv's against computers, actually radios against computers, if living room appliances began then I think computers would be unfairly ganged up on by others.
Paul: also, they are largely sheltered (usually hidding under a counter top, so they are protected largely)
yes, computers are the current focal point of the electronics
and slowly taking control of the stereos and tvs
Cynthia: and unprotected usually, on top of desks
Paul: yep
with lots of exposed wires

We have never talked about fridges before, to my knowledge. I want to write an history text book on the appliances. Cynthia is a firm Eminent Antifriagist, while I am fighting for the Friagist cause (because I have a small fridge).

PAulm

Edit: I have changed my blog description in light of this new ideology. It is now much more confusing.

On Great Styles of the Worm

2005-10-14T11:35:00.000-04:00

There is no proof that I stayed up way too late watching Stargate-SG1. You can't prove it.

So Jeff and Sarah came over last night. We ate good food (thank you Sarah) and then watched 2010. 2001and 2010 are only the best movies in the world, without a doubt. Also they make perfect sense. So Jeff left seasons 1, 2, 3, and 6 of Stargate-SG1 with me...I wonder if I have enough time to get an episode before class...

PAulm

On St. Anns by the Sea

2005-10-12T22:04:00.000-04:00

Have I ever mentioned that school is horrid. Well it is. And in times of horridness, I have an amazing ability to find other things to do (such has update my blog). I have found the land of podcasting. For those who don't know what podcasting is: it is basically audio blogs. They range from music podcasts to political podcasts to family podcasts to people just talking about their day. Because of their lack of production values, pretty much anyone can do it (like bloging). While I have just started listening to podcasts I have found these ones to be cool:

-CBC Radio 3 Podcast
This podcast has great production values (CBC). It is all new Canadian music. Some really cool stuff, of many different genres.
-The Zedcast
This podcast had great production values too. This is a guy from Nova Scotia who just does randome stuff, he has really no agenda. He tells great stories and is quite entertaining. Quite funny.
-The Feed
This is another CBC venture, so great production values. Tod Maffin highlights Canadian podcasts and the like. Anything from Tod Maffin is cool. (Also How To Do Stuff.)
-The Tank
This is a home done podcast. A group of youngsters put this one together. They talk about various things. They are out of the Toronto area. I like this one just to hear how they think (I know, always doing research).

I have decided that currently I will devote time to five podcasts. So I am looking for one more, and if I should come across two good ones, I might drop The Tank.

Perhaps I should do school work. I suppose...

PAulm

On Conversations Dying on a Dime

2005-10-10T16:02:00.000-04:00

I have been told that chapel went well. Last week and this week are very work filled. Make sure to give some thanks today, of the Canadian kind.

From Dr. Neller:

God is an optimist.
God welcomed the prodigal son back, I would have shot him.
The Isrealites? I would have strangled all of them.
It's a good thing that it's all based on God and not on these knuckleheads in congregations.
It's a good thing that God's an optimist.

Nice

PAulm

On Raging Forests of Fire

2005-10-03T22:28:00.000-04:00

Apparently I am bitter like Buttrick. I can see it.

Also, this book is both horrid and amazing. Horrid in the sense that it is huge (both physically and intellectually) and amazing in the sugject matter. All about Christ and how that results in our theology. I had no idea that Millard Erickson (the author) wrote so much.

Tonight I must read about 200 pages of The Word Became Flesh. And summerize. Eeek the cat.

Also, apparently I am speaking in chapel on Thrusday. That should be an experience. More on that later, perhaps. I should get back to reading...and more reading...

PAulm

On the Perpetual Grape Sun

2005-10-03T00:31:00.000-04:00

Intrustions:

Step One:Say "Open the air"
Step Two:Repeat Step One until you don't want to anymore
Step Three:Repeat Step One 20 more times, because you haven't done enough yet. Then GOTO Step Four
Step Four:Rejoice that you are happy now

Join me next week when we will be repeating other randome phrases. Also I am really tired. Also I have lots to do tomorrow morning. So to bed I go.

PAulm
By The Way, I do actually like that song, but it can be a bit repetitive.

On Holiday and a Half

2005-09-30T14:11:00.000-04:00

In about an hour I am driving to Dallas. Or almost to Dallas more accurately. I am going to have some fun this weekend. Let the cares of this world care about themselves, I say. Er, well, I just did say...once, I'm not sure if I ever have said that paticular phrase before. But it is still true.

Dallas is a cool city (whilst ofcourse not remotely touching the coolness of Toronto).

PAulm

On Polar Retaliation of the Rock

2005-09-27T21:39:00.000-04:00

Background: Someone had put up a note on Dr. Thompson's door. The note was claiming to be written by someone of Canadian descent. This was revealed later to not be the truth. So Wes wrote this note to attach to Dr. Thompson's door in response.

From the desk of Wes Kuryluk:

His unguided fingers eagerly clasp the pen. The pensive author looks longingly at the blank paper, silently beckoning the Muse to stir. “Sing in me, Muse,” writes the author of old, “through me [do] tell.” The echo of his silent mantra crescendos to the heavens, but she will not be stirred. The fidelity of her union denies his entice. With another nation, she has exchanged her vows. The scribe must continue alone.

“Imposter, Imposter!” the paper cries as the still drying ink binds to its now counterfeit fibers. Though the ink binds black, it bleeds from the paper with sinful scarlet. Anonymity shrouds the shameless scribe as he soils the crisp document with the ripe refuse of his soul. Even the poised pen has fruitlessly resisted the thoughtless scribe’s direction, unperceived rebellion against this malicious forgery.

“What madness?” the scribe’s inner-council bellows, undaunted by his own outward taunts. “What madness?” the proud nation laments, mocked by the scribe’s insolence. But his words do betray him. Although the page reads “Canadian,” the rhetoric screams the name of another.

Taking full responsibility for the consequences of this letter, whether direct or indirect…or even unrelated, I apologize for any offence I may have caused. I also apologize for the possibility of dormant offence, which may be aroused by a seemingly unrelated event at any point in the near or distant future. Apology must also be given ex post facto, thus not limiting the offence of this letter to strictly future offences that conceivably or inconceivably may have been caused by my comments. If this letter is labeled, whether justly or unjustly, as the catalyst for any future event, I take full responsibility, unless the consequence is positive. If the consequence thereof is negative, I will make every effort to reverse or neutralize the consequence. In the event that something in your life or the life of another is negative, bad, not good, or just not the way you’d like it, please remain uninhibited in casting blame for said things upon my comments. Again I apologize and take full responsibility. I apologize for the length, inadequacy, smallness of type, or any other strain the mere reading of this apology may have caused. Internally, I apologize for any grammatical, rhetorical, stylistic, and lexigraphic errors. I also apologize for the necessary anonymity, and for the assumption that said anonymity is necessary.

Nice.
PAulm

On Futuristic Monkeys

2005-09-26T17:54:00.000-04:00

So tomorrow morning (7:30), I have a meeting with the Director of Admissions for HUGSR. In one sense (academically, future opportunities, etc) I would like this meeting to go well. However, in another sense I would like an other outcome (so I would move back to Canada sooner, etc).

-For those of you who think that HUGSR would be good, and being in the south longer would be good, pray that all goes well, very well.
-For those of you who think that this is unwise, and would like me to move back to Canada sooner, pray that I am let down gently. Please.

That is all.

PAulm

On Lighting the Sky with Diamonds

2005-09-25T23:47:00.000-04:00

Hey. Guess what? Yep, that's right. I have electricity in my apartment.

Ah.

I'm a big fan of electricity. Now I must do some study, and by 'some' I mean a lot. And by 'must' I mean perhaps. Yep. Big fan of electricity.

Also, apparently Katrina was the result of an old coldwar storm creating device.

PAulm

On the Colours of the Weapon of Choice

2005-09-21T23:48:00.000-04:00

Allo. I don't know if this is what I want...someone please just remove the choice from me. That would be helpful.

I want to go home, to be with you all, and to prepare in Toronto. I also want a good academic program that is useful. Is it too much to ask for HUGSR to move to Toronto? I don't think so.

So this is what I am going to do. I am going to apply to a bunch of grad schools. I'm thinking of 3 right now. This list might grow. I want to see my options. See what type of programs and fiscal incentives they offer. Okay, maybe 4... Here they are (in order of my current preference):

-Tyndale (fiscally better) tied with HUGSR (academically much better)
-Regent College
-Grad School at Abilene

Also, my lava lamp is mesmerizing.

Also, I am tired.

PAulm

On Coming Up Attractions - Tonight at 11

2005-09-19T19:36:00.000-04:00

Apparently my professors really think that I need to go to the grad school in Memphis. I was under the impression that it was an impossiblity, however, they told me with force that it was not. Now I am confused. There are many good reasons why I wish to goto Tyndale, and many fiscal reasons, also Toronto is just the coolest city ever. However, the grad school in Memphis is by far the better choice academically. I don't know what to do. This is a complicated matter. And to some degree my future may hinge on this decision.

Maybe if I do nothing it will just go away?

PAulm

On Small Carnivorous Mammals from Outer Spacement

2005-09-18T16:47:00.000-04:00

Hey. So I have alot of work to do tonight. An exam tomorrow and such. However, I fear that I will be horribly under-prepared for it because of something I have in my apartment.

Let me explain: Today I was driving home from morning worship and I approached the interestion of Main and Lincoln Ave.. I saw in the middle of the interestion a small furry creature, a kitten. The kitten was rolling around on the pavement. I immediately turned into a lot and jumped out of the car, and as I was waiting to get onto the road to pick up this kitten. (This part makes me slightly mad) I watched as a truck slowed infront of the kitten, I could see the driver and passenger point at the kitten. (there where no other cars around, two open lanes) Then the truck sped up and drove over the cat. Hitting the cat.

AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGG
(this is an understatement, the emotive meaning here is...strong)

[Calming down]

Fortunately the ride height of the truck was such that it just nicked him. Something underneath the truck hit his leg. I ran over and picked him up and brought him home (after seeing if any owner type peoples where coming...which wasn't the case). His leg isn't broken, which is good. But the wound is deep (to the bone). So now I have a cat in my apartment, who is traumatized. I cleaned him up a bit, to ward off infection. And gave him some water and milk-soaked bread. He's just a little kitten though. I soooooo want to keep him. However, since I cannot cross the boarder with him...I cannot. So tomorrow I must take him to the Humane Society.

However I will likely get nothing done tonight. At all.

PAulm

Update: My investigative skills have determined that infact he is a she. Also, after 7 hours, she now has eaten some of the milked bread and drank some water. And I saw her, under her own power, turn her self around (ie:she used her injured leg). So that's a good sign. And she now responds to petting.

Update Two: Last night was rough. She meows...alot. Which is understandable...getting hit by a truck. Also, she now has enough energy to use her front legs well. Thus she has managed to figure a way out of the box, several times last night (the reason for the box is the lack of cat toiletries). So I got maybe 4 hours of sleep. In one hour bits, or smaller. I had to try and calm her, because Wes is in the other room. I would have, normally, just let her meow, it is the only way she will learn. However, since this is not my cat and since Wes was trying to sleep, I tried to calm her. Which didn't work all that well. By the way, this morning she has a little more control over her hind legs, I saw her walking, kinda normally (looking very weak). But at least that is a good sign. I am taking her to the humane society now.

Update Three: Arg. The humane society doesn't open until 3pm. Attachment is become increasingly difficult to defend against.

Update Four: I am catless again.

On Only the Best

2005-09-15T15:08:00.000-04:00

Why is Toronto the Coolest City in the World? You might ask why the stars shine bright? or why is my car is so cool? In the event that the answer is not as obivous as it is to me, I shall compile a short list:

-Yonge Street is listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as the “longest street in the world”, stretching 1,896 km (1,178 miles) from the lakeshore in Toronto, north to Rainy River, Ontario, near the Minnesota border
-Toronto is home to the world’s tallest freestanding structure, the CN Tower (at 553.33 m)
-One third of Canada's population is located within 160 km radius of Toronto
-The Toronto Stock Exchange is North America's 3rd largest Stock Exchange by value traded
-Considered "Hollywood North" by the film industry, Toronto ranks third in North American TV and film production
-Over 100 languages and dialects are spoken in Toronto
-The Toronto Transit Commission is North America's second largest public transit system
-Toronto's underground city, PATH, holds the Guinness World Record for "Biggest Underground Shopping Complex" with over ten kilometres of underground, indoor pedestrian walkways linking hotels, shopping, dining and major attractions
-The annual Toronto International Film Festival is second only to Cannes in terms of high-profile films, stars and market activity
-The Caribana™ parade is the biggest single-day happening and largest Caribbean festival in North America
-Toronto is the 5th-largest city in North America after Mexico City, New York City, Los Angeles, and Chicago

Above list taken from Toronto Tourism (links mine)

It is a multicultural city (not multicultural like Harding claims to be, but actually multicultural), that is not segmented. Mostly clean (esp. compared to American cities), with a fairly functional mass transit system (esp. compared to American cities). Important on the international level. For instance, Lord of the Rings the musical is opening in Toronto, being the first time a major show opens in a city other than London or New York. It is a city were I can walk anywhere and not feel afraid. Do shootings happen in Toronto, yes, but much less than other North American cities.

And if that isn't enough, check out all the ultimate coolness. And if that isn't enough, Toronto is very close to nature. Such as Collingwood, Muskoka, and Niagara.

Need I say more? I don't think so. I invite those of you who live in Toronto and those wishing they lived in Toronto to add to this description.

PAulm

On Ties to Candle Watt

2005-09-14T00:36:00.000-04:00

Hey. This is my personal conclusion about the Bible Majors Retreat. I won't go into it too much, however:

I have decided to be a Christian in the order of Jesus.

What does that mean? I will explain by saying what it is not: I will not be a Christian in the order of the world, or of academia, or of comfortablity, or of economic/social class, or of personal feeling, or of modern churches, etc.. Rather to be a Christian after Christ. There are some implications about this that I might dicuss later. Do you understand what I am saying, since I have not spelled it out much?

As such, I have a life goal: Being a Christian in Toronto.

It seems rather uneventful. But to be a Christian in the way of Jesus is not like many Christians today. I feel a rant coming on, but I will ease.

Tonight I had some options placed before me...different grad schools, different careers (like teaching...oh...that is sooo appealing to me), being public etc., and I have made a conscience choice to be just a Christian in Toronto. If that means planting, then plant. If that means being public, so be it. If that means working with the unfortunate, so be it. If I live my entire life, work very hard, and no one knows my name save some homeless people, glory be to God. I pray to keep this focus.

PAulm

On Retreating Advances

2005-09-12T21:25:00.000-04:00

Yeah. So Guess where I was today. Nope. Nope. Close. Wrong direction. I was actually at the Bible Majors Retreat. It was cool. I might have more to say about it later. The speaker made me think.

Yes, Daft Punk is cool. That is the music playing in the video I linked to before. See Technologic, this is a kinda weird video the first time I watched it, but it is cool.

Also, I have a speaker system now. It is totaly cool. So I can listen to Daft Punk, and also Jeff's music. So...hey Jeff..I have speakers with bass...I can even control my bass...isn't that sooo cool? (see by adding the extra two o's I am emphasizing the coolness)

Lissa: Most people are not strong I's or E's. As is true with all the types, most people are to a degree a type. For instance: I am also a weak I, strong N, strong T, and really strong P.

Hmmmm...dictionary.com is being spotty tonight...this is disconcerting.

PAulm

On the Action Pact of Sloan

2005-09-11T21:44:00.000-04:00

Jeff is proclaiming in his blog the wonderous Breakdancing Transformers. Which is rightly cool. While not approaching the greatness of the aforementioned video, Wes has shown me something cool. I mean, I thought it was pretty cool.

Lissa, that is fine with me.

Also, so apparently my last post is difficult to put into practice. Grr.

PAulm

On Delighting in Skies of Snow

2005-09-11T01:01:00.000-04:00

So. I have noticed something recently. Many of us enjoy our lives in as much as the external circumstances dictate us. I enjoy my life because...[insert thing/event/condition] and/or I won't enjoy my life until...[insert thing/event/condition].

There is only one condition that should dictate our joy. Do I know Christ, and him crucified?

Hence, I will enjoy my life. Despite what external circumstances may or may not be affecting me.

PAulm

On the Geyser of Reality

2005-09-09T23:14:00.000-04:00

Today from Dr. Neller:

This is going to be on the wall somewhere in my future office:
You can always tell the preacher who has not dug his well deep.
He takes his cup to the pulpit and dumps it out, shaking to get the last drops out. He speaks what he does not know. Then he runs back to his office begging for his cup to be full before next week.
Dig your well deep. Then out of the overflow do you speak.
Watch for deep holes.

This won't be:
People have been, and continue to be, jerks.
People will drive out in front of you, and make you slam on your brakes, then flip you the bird.
You see, people are selfish jerks.

Dr. Neller is great.

PAulm

On Affinity of Life

2005-09-08T00:26:00.000-04:00

Indeed.

PAulm

On the Abbey of Corner Shopping -- London Radar?

2005-09-07T00:49:00.000-04:00

Jeff is flaunting his lack of having to go to chapel today in his blog. For this I hate him. However, I too, am considering not going to chapel. Well, I consider this on a daily basis, but specifically for tomorrow. There is two factors involved: One. While chapel has not lost all usefulness and dropped to the level of entertainment, as Wes sees it, I am confused about chapel. The stated purpose is to worship. However, that seems to be a minor point sometimes. Also, the messages...are...interesting. For instance, Monday we heard a message in which the presenter came right out and said something to the effect that he wasn't going to speak about what the passage talked about, but rather what he wanted to talk about. Oh, and apparently demon possession is now a matter of free will. -Wes

Right.

In conclusion, I find chapel to be very often quite annoying, esp. the messages. Lissa, remember Mr. Bury's rant? However, the second reason, and more importantly (perhaps sadly) is that I have not anything worthy of being worn publically. Whilst chapel is not the place were one wears their best, I still have my standards. Mainly, clean clothes. So I think I will wash clothes.

Thus I despise the banks down here. They are akin to a large unwieldily gaints who are trying to build a house of cards. And you are forced to watch. So painful.

PAulm
By the way this week already I've had someone tell me that the connexions of my thoughts are entirely too weak, and that I need some early child education (twice). And Wes tells me that I need to be learnt gooder englilsh. But he doesn't count.

On the Diminutive Legends

2005-09-03T20:40:00.000-04:00

Hi, Ho, and sometimes Hum. So school is back on again. Yea. Please, someone turn it off. I have little to nothing of great value to say. And, seeing as I have a propensity for long drawn out entries...I will stop now.

PAulm
Lissa: I understand that there are refugees coming here. Harding is helping with that, and also planning on going to help cleanup/rebuild/etc. at some point. Beyond that, I know not.

On the lovely land of the lava

2005-09-01T00:23:00.000-04:00

Ok. So my last couple of posts have gotten me on a bit of a mental frenzy. And you know us preacher-types, always thinking up sermons. Also, Melissa keeps badgering (not in a bad way) me to send her one of my sermons. This terrifies me because even when I preach a sermon, it is never done. There is always something more I want to fix, rework, etc.. So, as to appease that request, and because this is very much my current thoughts these days...I give you a kernal of a sermon that is in my mind.

Disclaimer: This is the very beginnings of the sermon idea, so I have not put much thought into its overall flow/structure, or if it is the best/biblical/correct way of saying this. There are many different ways to approach this, this is the first that came to my mind. Remember that this is meant to be verbal, not read. So normal grammatical rules apply insomuch that they function verbally. What do you think? Is there a better way? I tried to keep it short for the blog...but...sorry.

Jesus says in John 13: 34 to 35 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

Love identifies us as Christians, not my pious life, not my right words or right walk, not my zealous worship, not the amount of money I give, not even my loud proclamations, or the name on the building, or the correct doctrine I teach.

Are these things good? Yes. Important? Yes. But above all it is my love for you the your love for me, our love for each other that shows we are Jesus’ disciples, that we are Christians.

This love that we should have, according to I Cor 13, starting in verse 4, “love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” As we love one another, this list should describe us. So this is our first application: Does this list describe us when we deal with each other? Are we patient? Are we kind? Do we keep no record of wrongs? Do we trust each other? Do we hope in each other? Even on our worst days?

But still, this is not the complete picture. I John 3, verses 16 and 18 help us: “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.”

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down other lives for our brothers.

How? In our actions and in truth.

To truly love one another, we need to follow Jesus’ example, we need to lay down our lives for each other.

What does this mean?

This means that I put you first. This means that I give up my rights, for you.

This means that if you are uncomfortable with something I am doing, and it’s a matter of subjectivity…I give up my right to do it. This means that even though I might enjoy the newer songs more, I give up my right to push for them, because I know there are people who dearly love the older ones and prefer them.

This means that when I park in the lot outside, I give up my right to have the spot nearest the door because I got here early.

This means that when someone is unfair to me in the congregation, I give up my right to demand for fairness.

In the same way that Jesus laid down his life for us, we lay our lives down for each other.

Is teaching the truth right? Yes. Is living a good life important? Yes. Is proclaiming Jesus name to the world correct? Yes.

But ultimately: John 13:35 “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

So. How are we doing? Am I willing to lay my life down for each and every one of you? Are you willing to lay your life down for every single member of this church?

I’m not saying that we are doing a bad job here, but there is always room for improvement, at least there is for me.

I’m going to leave you with I John 4, verses 7 through 12, if you have not been willing to lay down your life for someone here, then start today. If you have been selfish, and would only go so far for someone in the church, then decide today to lay down your whole life for them.

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.”

PAulm

On John 17

2005-08-30T21:01:00.000-04:00

John 17 (New International Version)

Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society
NIV at IBS International Bible Society NIV at Zondervan Zondervan

After Jesus said this, he looked toward heaven and prayed: "Father, the time has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you. For you granted him authority over all people that he might give eternal life to all those you have given him. Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do. And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began.

"I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word. Now they know that everything you have given me comes from you. For I gave them the words you gave me and they accepted them. They knew with certainty that I came from you, and they believed that you sent me. I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours. All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. And glory has come to me through them. I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name—the name you gave me—so that they may be one as we are one. While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled. "I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them. I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified.

"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world. Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.

Jesus

On Light Choristers to the Blue

2005-08-30T20:19:00.000-04:00

Praise Teams, eh?

For those of you being all confused right now, read the comments for the entry "On the Far Reaching Impacts of the Deserts Strands."

What do I think? I really like Jeff's comments. I, too, agree that worship is more about worshiping God than about entertainment. While worhsiping need not exclude having a good time, it is not the goal. Worship in the Bible is always directed. Thus the focus is not on the ones worshiping, but the one being worshiped. So, as a pratical illustration: I do not have the right to decide to not worship God based on my feelings. If I don't feel like worshiping God, big deal...God is still worthy of my worhsip and I (being created by him, and further a son of his) need to worhsip him. Do you see my point?

However, what are Praise Teams? What is their function? As with many things, I think they could be used for bad and good. Are they, as many are, entertainers? Or do they help the congregation to participate in the worhsip? This is a subjective call, I think. Depends on your situation, I would hesitate to make a sweeping call based on the entertainment idea.

However, there is another issue here. I know I will be causing trouble, likely, by bringing this up. Since Praise Teams are likely to involve persons of the female gender, that might cause issues. My understanding of the Bible in this area (to put it horridly simplistic) is that women should not try to take on the role of a man. (that in no way implies lack of equality or importantance or value, see Eph 5) This does include leadership (which is a role of man, biblically). In our congregations we must be careful of crossing that line. And this is difficult, because (and all you SJs out there are rolling your eyes again) it is subjective. To me, giving a woman a mike is not putting her in a leadership role. However, I understand that some do believe that. I would like to scoff at that, but I have no right to. As Christians we should give up our rights at the drop of a hat. So, my right to have a woman on a mike I gladly give up if there is someone who has a serious problem with it. However, the opposite is true too, the person who has a problem with it should, in matters of subjectivity, give up their rights. As Christians we should be falling over each other tring to serve each other.

or we could just fight and tear each other apart. Rip the body of Christ into pieces, cause war inside the church. Because some people sing songs that are of a style that I dislike. or other equally horrid things.

When are we, as a church, as Christians, going to read John 17. SERIOUSLY.

Sorry. I will stop now. But I'm quoting all of John 17 in my next entry.

PAulm

On New Triumphs

2005-08-29T16:23:00.000-04:00

Hey, hey. Guess what I have now? No, not a new door. But I did get a new door handle. However, much much much more importantly I have INTERNET (caps mine). That's right, the interweb is now available in my apartment. Ahhhh...let's all bask in the internet's warm glow. Oh...that's my nuclear apartment...note to self: get lead suit.

I might have something to say to add to the comments on the last entry. First, I must surf aimlessly the waters of the interweb. And yes,I can stop when I want to.

PAulm

On the Far Reaching Impacts of the Deserts Strands

2005-08-14T00:04:00.000-04:00

Thus week is crazy-like. Tomorrow I begin the week at Omagha. As such, I will be unable to access the interweb easily, or at all. So no updates. And then the whole driving to Searcy. So also no updates. Sorry. I know you are all weeping bitterly.

Jeff: We will be arriving in Searcy on the 21st, so...having a place to sleep and live would be beneficial.

Paul sleep now.

PAulm, I have been thinking about actually starting a New Testament Interpretation blog...this interests me greatly, and then you all wouldn't have to roll your collective eyes when I mention historical criticism or the like. Hmmmm.....I really don't have time to do it....but yet...

On Coronary Images of Time

2005-08-11T20:32:00.000-04:00

I am here in Toronto, Cyris and I have been playing settlers, and watching Mystery Science Theatre 3000. We were going to go to the Toronto Insland, however $20 (CAD) parking stopped us. We shall do so later, but we will take transit. So that will have to wait until next year. But tonight we leave to go back to St. Anns (St. Anns follows 569 from 69 to 20) to where our parental body units live. Then on Saturday off to Omagha, then on its eve drop Cyris off at Kipling. Then back to St. Anns, then preach on Sunday morning, and class, then run to Kipling to pick up Cynthia, then back to Omagha where we will stay for the week (mostly), then Saturday morning...off to Seary, Ar. So yeah, that's what is up, and is going up in the near future.

Again sorry for the previous post.

PAulm

On Assumptions of Water

2005-08-11T00:43:00.000-04:00

Graham N. Stanton writes in New Testament Interpretation:

Why do the conclusions of New Testament scholars differ so widely? Anyone who begins to read books about the New Testament soon becomes aware that competent scholars defend with equal vigour and sincerity widely differing approaches to the New Testament. The variety of viewpoints often causes great perplexity both to theological students and to the church at large. Occasionally bewilderment leads to abandonment of serious historical critical study of the Scriptures in favour of a supposedly simple and direct "devotional" approach. Theological students are prone to the temptation to regard a listing of scholarly viewpoints and names in support of a particular opinion as serious exegesis. (page 60, The Paternoster Press Ltd; Exeter, England)

A breif perusal of the history of the interpretation of Scripture is sufficient to confirm that the classical creeds of Christendom and particular doctrinal presuppositions have exercised a profound influence on interpretation right up to the present day. Interpretation of the Bible has often involved little more than production of proof texts to support an already existing doctrinal framework. Later theological reflections have often been read back, often unconsciously, into the New Testament documents. (page 62)

Presuppositions in New Testament exegesis are as frequently philosophical as doctrinal, though a sharp distinction is impossible. The miracle stories in the gospels and in Acts provide an example of the interplay of philosophical and doctrinal presuppositions. The interpretater's prior decision about the possibility or impossibility of miracles is bound to influence his conclusions about the historicity of the miracle stories even more than his literary analysis of the traditions; doctrinal or theological presuppositions will influence his assessment of their significance for Christology. ... R. Bultmann's comment is appostie: "Every exegesis that is guided by dogmatic prejudices dos not hear what the text says, but only lets the latter say what it wants to hear." Neither the conservative nor the radical scholar can claim to be free from presuppositions. But this does not mean that the interpreter must attempt to become a neutral observer; on the contrary, empathy with the subject matter of the text is an essential presupposition. (page 64)

The interpreter does not observe the text from a safe distance; interpretation means confrontation with the text - and this means confrontation of blind and sinful man with the sovereign and gracious God. (page 66)

Bultmann himself insisted that the historian must be "selfconscious about the fact that his way of asking questions is one-sided and only comes at the phenomenon of the text from the standpoint of a particular perspective. The historical perspective is falsified only when a specific way of raising questions is put forward as the only way - when, for example, all history is reduced to economic history." (Page 67)

The exegete cannot allow either his own personal bias or prejudice or his pre-understanding to dominate the text. They cannot be avoided completely, but they must be no more than a door through which the text is approached. The text is prior: the interpreter stands before it humbly and prays that through the scholarly methods and the questions with which he comes to the text, God's Word will be heard afresh. This is the exciting task to which the interpreter is called. But it is also a dangerious task: God's Word sweeps away my comfortably secure presuppositions; it is a Word of judgement as well as of grace. (page 69, 70)

For those of you that waded through all that, isn't that so true? We all have presuppositions about the New Testament, and that is not a horrid thing. When interpreting the text, it is impossible not to use our presuppositions, but we must allow them to be changed and modified by the text itself. When we force our persuppositions on the text, and force the interpretation of the text, then it is a horrid thing. Wow. Is this not a really really cool book? Does this just show my geekyness in New Testament scholarship that I am really refreshed by this?

Ok, ok. I promise (within my geeky abilities) to refrain from quoting this much indepth stuff in one entry again....maybe I need to start a New Testament Interpretation blog...

PAulm

On Compact Tenses

2005-08-10T15:32:00.000-04:00

How do I choose my titles? How does a painter know what to paint? (Besides seeing something or having an idea and then deciding to paint it) It is exactly in the same line that I choose my titles. My titles all have connections with my entries, however, they may be obscure. To think as Paul thinks, for example this entry: On Compact Tenses. The major connection here is Compact. How? The second half of this entry will be dealing with music, and music often comes in the form of CDs (Compact Discs). The connection is not meant to highlight or mean anything, but merely be a title. Surprisingly these titles come quite easily for me. Have fun trying to find the connections in the titles, then, and only then, will you attain the superior level of thinking that is Paul.

On to the Music. So I have a nice little MP3 player, which has enough room on it for another album. I am having trouble deciding what to put on it. I am calling all my various readers to help me. (yes, all three of you) What I currently have on it is this:

Enya - Various
Moby - Various (Earlier stuff, mostly piano)
The Postal Service - Give Up
Coldplay - X&Y

Here is my short list of what to put on:

Moby - Hotel
Air - Any
Coldplay - Any
Avalanches - Since I left you
Fat Boy Slim - Any
Fischerspooner - Any
Goo Goo Dolls - Any
Ben Folds - Any
Klaatu - 3.47E.S.T
Kraftwerk - The Mix (or Any)
Jem - Finally Woken
David Holmes - Any
Radiohead - Any
Zero 7 - Any
Thrid Eye Blind - Any

So that is my short list. Yes, really it is my short list today. So, what one album should I choose? I invite your suggestion.

PAulm

On Computing Hair

2005-08-09T19:50:00.000-04:00

So Jeff says that I use "On" to start all my titles. There is little to no proof that proves that. I haven't seen any studies, have you?

I am preforming computer surgury today. As such, I am posting from my dad's laptop. It is slow. Also dialup internet is horridly slow. Remember the days when we thought 14k modems were fast? Ha. So I am leaving my computer here for my parents. So A) I have bought a HD to transfer my stuff off of it, and have installed it on my computer. B) I need to format and copy files over to it, then format my old HD for the folks. C) Then move a modem and disk drive into my computer. D) Install XP. E)Reconstruct parents old computer. F)Reorganize all of the basement for permenant placement of computer.

Computers save so much time don't they?

PAulm

On Methods of Madness

2005-08-09T19:22:00.000-04:00

F.F. Bruce writes in his essay The History of New Testament Study in I. Howard Marshall's New Testament Interpretation, talking about being afraid to inquire of the Bible:

...the temptation to decide in advance what Scripture must mean, and compel its words to yield that meaning, has not disappeared entirely. Yet there would be general assent to Jowett's dictum: "Doubt comes in at the window, when Inquiry is denied at the door." There would, indeed, be general recognition of the fact that to approach the New Testament in a spirit of inquiry is not to take an unwarrented liberty with a sacred book, since the New Testament itself invites a spirit of inquiry. "Interpret the Scipture like any other book," urged Jowett; the many respects in which Scipture is unlike any other book "will appear in the results of such an interpretation." (page 44, The Paternoster Press Ltd; Exeter, England)

The Jowett referred to here is Bengamin Jowett's essay (of 104 pages) On the Interpretation of Scripture contributed to the symposium Essays and Reviews (1860). Italics original.

I've been reading this book for fun, and isn't that so cool? I've started the second essay by Graham N. Stanton Presuppositions in New Testament Criticism, this seems to be really cool too. I really really like this book so far.

PAulm

On Local Fire Bottles

2005-08-09T18:26:00.000-04:00

Hello to all. So...what is Settlers of Catan, eh? How to describe the wonderous joy that is settling (Yes, it is so good that its name has become a verb). It is a game based on strategy and randomeness. The game is loosely based on the concept of settling an island some time ago (pre-industral era). The board is constructed each time you play, so it changes, thus making it a different game every time. You get resources to build roads, settlements, cities, etc.. It is mostly non-hostile in game play. Also, there is a heavy emphasis on trading with your fellow players. All and all it is a really cool game. Also, it is relatively simple in game play and concept, for instance I have witnessed a couple players win on their very first time playing.

Yes, Settling is cool.

PAulm

On Settling the Elmo...Ore?

2005-08-06T20:29:00.000-04:00

Yo Yo. So I was reading the Wikipedia entry for Settlers of Catan and came upon the Settlers of Catan, Strategic considerations sections. Yes, for fun I read up on strategy tips for Settlers of Catan. So, what? You wanna fight over it? Yep, that's right, my dad can beat up your dad. So anyways, it had this very cool quote under the section called: Resource movement. Isn't this so true:

Don't play with fire in the endgame. Absolutely refuse to trade with someone who may be in striking distance of victory. Unwittingly providing the resource necessary for the final victory point is... a blunder of a magnitude that is difficult to put into words.

The people that I normally play with (Chris and my sister) and I have always seemed to have the rule that one cannot win using a trade, which takes care of the situation. The emotion in the Wikipedia entry is oh so true. I need to play more Settlers. I get my fix for it in the last couple of years in the summers, and then don't play for the school year...so so sad. Some day I need to purchase my own set. Good thing I will likely be playing Settlers in one day, since I will be in Toronto, and we normally play at least one game. If you haven't yet guessed from this entry: I highly recommend a healthy dose of Settlers of Catan in your daily diet.

PAulm

On the Counteracting Tulip Bird

2005-07-30T22:57:00.000-04:00

So I got back the quote of the amount of monies that I paid for tuition in the year of 2004. And guess what? The figure I got back is larger than the one I quoted originally in my income tax. Ha! So the government reviewed my figures to try and reduce them (not believing that I paid that much), and now will infact have to increase the figure. Ha! I beat the system. The Man lost one today. And other badly contrusted phrases that imply that I am great. This, however, will likely not mean that I will get any more monies back from my income tax, seeing as I have already hit the maximum on claiming tuition, but I won on principle.

Isn't winning on principle fun? Esp. when you actually get nothing of any value in return? Yep, I thought so.

PAulm

On the Making of Absence

2005-07-30T12:36:00.000-04:00

This Summer is slipping by quickly-like. Two weeks until Omagha. And then off to school once again, for the last time. Well, school in the form of Harding. Today is a busy day. We are moving a hut-like thingy over from Great-Grandma's to our place, so that has taken the morning so far. Dad, Grandpa, and Uncle Elwin will continue on that, while I need to clean the downstairs since the cats (I miss them so) are gone. Then I have to do some work for tomorrow's sermons and classes. So, some might ask why I am posting instead of working.

Good point.

PAulm

On Dashboard Counter-Top Sales

2005-07-29T17:37:00.000-04:00

Hmmmm Jeff doesn't like the line. Well, I'm going to give it a try. I like lines. Although I do agree about the minimalistic ideals...but I like the line.

There is only one place I enjoy shopping for shopping's sake: IKEA. Indeed, IKEA is so cool. Esp. if I had my own house. No where else is shopping enjoyable, without external factors, like shopping with friends, or getting things that encourage me living, etc.. Yes, even tech places is no fun. Now that does not include shopping online, only shopping in a physical store with four walls. For me buying things is okay, but the process of buying things is a tidious chore. To say nothing about the shopping without the intent of buying things, ie. window shopping. However, for some strange and otherwise unknown reason, I can window shop at IKEA. Ah...I need to go to IKEA.

I am not a paid employee of IKEA. Really.

PAulm

On Electronicfied Writings in the Sky

2005-07-28T15:16:00.000-04:00

How about no title thingy? Does that look better? Having the titles or not? I'm not sure...Ok, how about one line?

For leaving comments: The easist way would likely be to just select Anonymous, then just end your comment with who you are, or you could attribute it to someone else. Whichever.

For Jeff: I hate you. (Well, not really, but just because you can watch Stargate and I can't. Except for 3 episodes.) Also, yes I have heard of Stovokor. They were featured on Trekkies (Cynthia/Chris and I watched it this summer). Much coolness.

PAulm

On Cardboard Cutouts of the Queen

2005-07-28T13:03:00.000-04:00

Arrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggg
The Tax Man Approachith

So apparently the government (they are, of course, merely puppets of the shadow government) is reviewing the amount of monies I paid for tuition in the year of 2004. ARrrg. This involves much work. I have forms in Searcy, and some here...also Harding needs to do stuff, and they aren't sure who's supposed to do what (and it is all in Canadian Dollars...which baffles them...) And I have 20 days to do this all and get it into Canada Tax and Revenue Agency (our version of the IRS).

I am sooo founding my own country. Where there will be none of this tax stuff....for me...lots for everybody else (and Jeff, because we will rule iron-fisted together...and be the deities).

I need to go send some forms by fax. ARrrrrrrrrrrg. Again I say: Arrrrrrggggg.

PAulm

On Photon Torpedoes

2005-07-22T12:34:00.000-04:00

I can post pictures...
Mmmmmmmm

However, I can't seem to make it work...I was trying to use Hello and things did not work as promised. Perhaps I need a more better internet connection to figure this out. Also, I managed to break the "links" section on the sidebar...and then fixed it again. I think they work, mostly. So...does anyone know how to use pictures on this? I would like to add a picture to my ever important profile. Hmmm...need to fiddle more...

PAulm

On Eating Sound Waves

2005-07-21T21:44:00.000-04:00

The Postal Service is amazing
Seriously, it is

Jeff introduced me to them. You really need to get their cd. I would link to it...but I can't seem to make it open another window. Which maybe isn't a bad thing...but I'm not sure. Anyways, both Jeff and I really like Nothing Better, it's is a really cool song. Take a gander at the lyrics:

(Male)
Will someone please call a surgeon
Who can crack my ribs and repair this broken heart
That you're deserting for better company?
I can't accept that it's over...
I will block the door like a goalie tending the net
In the third quarter of a tied-game rivalry

So just say how to make it right
And I swear I'll do my best to comply

Tell me am I right to think that there could be nothing better
Than making you my bride and slowly growing old together

(Female)
I feel must interject here you're getting carried away feeling sorry for yourself
With these revisions and gaps in history
So let me help you remember.
I've made charts and graphs that should finally make it clear.
I've prepared a lecture on why I have to leave

So please back away and let me go
(Male)
I can't my darling I love you so...

Tell me am I right to think that there could be nothing better
Than making you my bride and slowly growing old together
(Female)
Don't you feed me lines about some idealistic future
Your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures

(Male)
I admit that I have made mistakes and I swear
I'll never wrong you again
(Female)
You've got a lure I can't deny,
But you've had your chance so say goodbye
Say goodbye

Amongst many things which identify with me in this song, the one which I will discuss now is the idealist part. I am an idealist. No question. Wes is a realist, which makes for some really interesting conversations in our apartment. My point is why focus on reality when the ideal is sooo much better. There are, of course, negatives to having this view. Such as the fact that reality is devalued, and such can be ignored on occasion. But...consider the positives: the belief in the better future is always available. Not merely available, but a driving force to pursue the better. For example: I have a phrase I use when describing my future. The Perfect Possible Future. What I mean by it is this: My future that is the best it can possibly be (perfect), but also reasonably possible (possible). So for instance the future with me being in command of a starship is perfect, but not very possible. It is in this Perfect Possible Future that I want to live. Is that so wrong? I am an idealist, yes. I wish to experience the could be, not what is. Maybe escapism? I'd like to not think so.

So, I'm not sure what the conclusion is of all this, other than leave comments.

PAulm

On Time Management

2005-07-21T21:25:00.000-04:00

The New has begun
The Old is done away with

Hello to all! Jeff has switched his blog to this service, and my lil'sister also uses this service, and as such, I have been convinced. A short treatise on why: It is better.

As such, I will be playing with this new service a bit, so I am not married to this format, and may change in the near future. I have kept it relatively the same for the time being.

Perhaps this will be a better outlet for all the important things I have to say.

PAulm
Do you realise that I am the only person to have an interest in the Command of Starships in this service? so so sad